The Sales Skills SERIES

Course Content

0 / 10

Sales Skills

35:34 Video (89 MB) HD Video (217 MB) Audio (33 MB)

Okay. Welcome. Hi, everyone. Let me put my glasses on so I can see. Hi, Tammy. Okay. I'm going to share my screen with you so that we can all be together on this.

Sorry. Okay. Share my screen. I don't want to have all of that. I have more people joining, so I'm trying to admit some folks as well. Okay.

Apologize. All right. Somebody tell me what to do. You're

doing it. Share on the top right hand that orange button. That'll start the presentation if that's what you're trying to do. I am. Yep. Well, maybe not. No.

Okay. Somebody tell me what to do here. Is it in slideshow? It is. There you go. All right. Hi, everyone. Okay.

So thank you all for being here. What we're talking about today is stop talking. So I'm sure that there was something interesting that had you think, I think I want to attend that and see what this is all about. So thank you all for doing that and for taking the time. So, excuse me, what we're going to look at today is a few things. So the objective of our session today is, as you can read, to bring an understanding and appreciation for the power of silence,

Tend to have a real appreciation for and to identify the challenges to being silent and still and to create some actions for how to actually do that. So at the end of each section here, I'm going to ask you for some input, whether it's questions that you might have about this or examples that you have about how you've used this either intentionally or not done it and what has happened as a result of that. So consider that.

Silence is one of those sort of enigmatic things that we may notice when we don't have it, and we may not notice when we do. And what we do know is that some people consciously and intentionally use silence, but many people don't. And since we often don't recognize silence when it's happening and may not be skilled yet in how to use it, we tend to do other things instead, like continuing to talk. Or getting distracted, or distracting other people, or not knowing where to look or put ourselves, or unintentionally maybe creating some confusion.

So what we want to do is look at how we actually use silence and how we relate to it, like there.

So even silence in five seconds, what starts to happen? We start to think, is there something wrong?

Again, is there something that's not working? Have I lost connection?

What's happening over there? So you want to notice in the face of silence, we have all sorts of reactions. We have judgment. We have discomfort. We have wondering. We want to look at our phone. We want to get out of this.

So sitting with silence intentionally is really a rare thing. And what we do together is we're going to look at some areas intentionally. is a really powerful and effective communication tool and something that we just don't yet have the practice of doing.

So the first one, we want to stop talking when we ask a question. So I know that I'm speaking with salespeople and maybe coaches on this. And so to stop talking when we actually ask a question. So consider that when you adopt and incorporate silence into your communication, you may begin to notice habits of communication that are really well-worn that unless you intend to pay attention to them, you just don't, we don't notice them. So places that you're speaking instead of using silence to encourage engagement and dialogue. So an early place in communication to notice this is in asking questions. So consider that either when you're interviewing a new client or you're discussing an issue with an existing client or with an employee, and you're asking questions to understand their point of view or their priority or the problem that you're addressing,

are you really listening?

Or are you using the silence to encourage them to speak so that... You fully understand what it is that they are trying to express and what they're struggling with. Or do you find that you're getting distracted by, I don't know, I have to pick up the laundry on the way home, or I had a challenge with a spouse this morning. Are we getting distracted by our own thoughts and not really paying attention? Or are we racing to a solution to...

Make the process go quicker and actually get somewhere instead of listening to what they're saying. Do you find that you are rushing to give them a solution, especially when you have some weight or belief in the solution that you want to offer that you want them to get to? So just think about that.

Do you step on what people are saying unintentionally and with the best of intentions? Instead of just quietly listening to what it is that they have to say. So I'm going to offer in each of these questions with the stop talking, I'm going to offer what I'm going to call a solution of silence. So in this one is just breathe, focus, and bring yourself back to the present. Just take a breath. And if you find that you've gotten off topic and you've gotten distracted or they've gotten distracted. Or they've distracted you from something else or gone off on a tangent.

It's perfectly acceptable to just say, let's recap, or I get distracted, or pardon me for doing that and getting back on track. It's perfectly acceptable to do that. And then to elaborate beyond that. So does anyone have any questions on this? And or...

Examples of when you asked a question, they started answering, and it didn't go well. And I just encourage you, since I can't see everyone, I just encourage you to just ask, and we can take yourself off mute and ask, and we'll answer it.

Okay. I will take that as a no. So let's go to the next one. Okay.

So stop talking when you finish answering their question. So let's imagine that a client asks you why something you're showing them, and this is just an example. A client asks you a question about, let's say that something that you're showing them is more expensive than what you originally discussed. How would you answer that? Would you go on at length about all of the things that contribute to the difference, or would you do something else?

If you haven't identified their priorities, and this would go to coaches as well, working with an issue with a team member. If you haven't really understood and identified what their priorities are, problem that they're looking to solve, a process that they're engaged in that they want help in, if you haven't really identified that early on, then it's going to be a little difficult when it comes to answering that question without going on and on and on, because the answer is probably not going to be related to something that matters to them. The challenge in an answer in just stopping when you answer a question is that unless we know what matters most to them, we're going to keep trying to get to something that does matter to them until we finally hit it and get some sort of response that we've gotten it. So let's say that you're showing someone two different tiles, two different prices, two different tiles.

And instead of just going on about why something is more pricey than something else, consider something like this. Since durability is important to you, I'd like to tell you about the materials that they've used that makes one different from the other, the materials that they used and the process that they used to create it. I know they look similar, but they're not similar. Would that be helpful to you to understand the price difference? So in essence, we are reframing the information that we're going to give them in a way that matters to them. By something that we learned is important to them, instead of just rambling on and hoping that we actually catch something. So I know that some of you might know that I'm a DISC practitioner, and I often bring DISC into conversations that I'm going to do it again right now. So one of the places, if you're a high influence or high steadiness, because they're very people-driven.

Let's say talkative, styled. This is a place that you're going to find yourself talking a lot because when the pressure is on, you're going to find yourself apt to ramble. And I don't mean that as a fault because it's really the wiring that's doing this when you're under pressure.

But like everything that we're going to talk about here, The sweet spot that we're really looking for is the self-awareness to notice when something is happening and to actually catch it. And you don't have to continue it happening or even have it happen once you notice that the machinery wants to run itself. So, excuse me, the solution of silence that I'm offering here when you finish answering their question is this, a couple of things. One is... To really be specific and relevant in the questions that you answer so that they're crisp and they're complete and they finish when you finish.

And other than that, no more talking. So does anyone notice that that's something that they do? I could probably, if I could see everyone, I'd ask for a show of hands. But does anyone want to raise their hand or else speak out and say, you know, I do this and I catch myself and I wish I didn't do it, but I still do it.

I do it. You do, Erin? I do. Okay, tell us about that.

I anticipate because I know that I've heard them. And so I know I'm showing them something that is outside of what we had discussed or that they had explained they wanted with their needs. I have gotten my brain ready to anticipate that conversation. And so I already have my argument in mind of why I still find it relevant to show them this anyway. So I start rattling those off instead of picking one clear and defined. I love that you just said, I know that the quality or how this is constructed is important to you. Drive the one thing home that is the real reason instead of

rambling. And, you know, all of this stuff is with the very best of intentions. You know, it's not just that we feel stuck and under pressure. And that's such a great example, Erin. Thank you so much for that. Because we really want to make them feel better and to understand. It's just the process that we're using is a bit overkill. We don't have to do that much work.

We just don't have to do that much work, and I'm going to stop talking right now because that is the thing to do with this. Okay, anyone else have an example of when they have felt that they've over-talked?

Okay, then we're going to go to the next one.

I love this one, but it hits hard. Stop talking about yourself. What? Okay, so this is kind of a harsh one because... It just sounds harsh even when I say it, but seriously, especially if you're a high influence in your disc profile, there's a tendency that that's going to happen. So when a client starts talking about their German Shepherd, it is not an invitation, sorry, it's not, to admit someone, it's not an invitation for you to talk about yourself.

And I'm stuck. So even if you have... A really good connection with the client, and you find that it's been your way that if you talk more about things that you think you have in common, then it's really going to build even more of a connection with them than the one that you have, right?

That actually doesn't really happen because when given the opportunity to talk about something that matters to them, they start talking, I'll use the German Shepherd, better that we ask more about their dog. Did you adopt or did you get it from a breeder? How long have you had it? What do you like about the breed? To be asking things about them and what matters to them is really the better way to go.

And when I watch with... Coaches, for instance, when in coaching, let's say a sales manager coaching a salesperson, it's easy to go into the autobiography. Well, when I was working with clients, I used to do, and I know that we think that that's really helpful to make it connected personally, but it really doesn't help. It really doesn't help them to understand what would actually work for them. And the same thing goes for a client. So when we have our connecting skills and our skills of building relationship closely connected to talking about ourselves, this habit is a little bit more difficult to break than not, than when we are more skilled at asking about other people. And what we don't want to have happen by using that connecting skill of bringing ourselves into the conversation.

And I'm sorry, I'd go back to that scale, but my computer is now frozen. So is that we start to erode the trust that we actually have, and they start to think they're only talking about themselves. Here they go again, talking about themselves.

And while that may not be what we're doing, that can be what lands on the other side of the communication. So that's the challenging part. So I would say that when this happens, To really notice when it happens and to notice a couple of things about it, to notice when it happens and to notice the frequency and how long it goes. And take this as an opportunity to really just be quiet and listen and to ask more questions. It's an opportunity to really practice the skill of deep listening and prompting the other person to share more about themselves. I would encourage you to replace

the self-talk with tell me more about that so that we can understand them a little bit more and elevate our reputation as being someone who is curious and interested in people instead of someone who talks a lot about themselves.

So I'd love to hear anyone that has an example of that one. And anyone who's a high influencer, you can show. You can show us that because that just comes to the territory.

I definitely can be one who shares personal things when I don't need to, like elaborate, think you're building rapport, when in reality, it should just be more questions, more questions, which I've had to work on. And in your disc profile, Mary Bell, I think your influence was 84.

It was

crazy. It was up in the... It was 96, yeah. 96.

So you're going to get a pass on that with 96. Yes, exactly. Exactly. So it's just something to watch because it gets to be such a natural thing. Just watch when it happens. And it's not a bad thing. And people love you. And just watch it because it takes the focus off of them and puts the focus on us, which is really not where we want it to go.

So thank you, Mary Bell, for that example.

All right, let's go to the next one.

So stop talking so much when you present so much, when you present the solutions. So consider that, and we'll talk about sales with clients. So consider that the problem that the client is looking to solve or the priorities that they're looking to have, that they've expressed, or they start telling you about some element that they really, really want to achieve. Consider that those are the only things to talk about. The only things we need to talk about, the problem they're looking to solve, the vision they're looking to realize, the priorities that they're looking to achieve. That's really all we need to talk about. And everything we want to talk about, we want to frame into one of those buckets.

They're the only things that need to be discussed because we've already asked what are the problems that we really want to address, the priorities that we want to make sure that we satisfy. So those are the links that we want to stay connected to. When we don't do this, what's probably going to happen, especially with selling upper-end products and services, is that... There's a tendency to justify the price by talking about too many things and especially talking about things that are not relevant to them. They're things that may be relevant to the product or the service intrinsically, but they don't matter to them. And the funny thing about that is, is that the more that you talk about these things that don't matter to someone else, the more unnecessarily expensive. The product or the service becomes because it does not add value. It adds to the price.

So it's one of those counterintuitive things. It doesn't add the value. It adds to the price. So I'm going to give you a little anagram to play with in this. And that is, wait, W-A-I-T. Why am I talking?

And replace that with like that. Because what we end up doing when we talk too much is that we end up cultivating confusion.

And you'll find that lands us in a, I need to think about this. Oh, there's so many things that we've talked about. Whenever you, as salespeople on the call, and designers, designers and salespeople, whenever you get the, I really need to think about this, consider you talked too much. You talk too much, you told them too much, and it just did not help you. With the best of intentions, it didn't help the situation.

Okay, so I would say here, the solution of silence is be really succinct with the information that you're giving them and make sure that the information you give them in your presentation aligns with their priorities and addresses their problem. And that is all you have to talk about. You can always ask, is there anything else that I can tell you? And if they say no, it's no. It's done. That's the time to ask for the order.

All right. And so stop also talking and let them think. And especially, I'll go back to DISC for a moment.

If you have styles like compliance, which are really detail-driven, steadiness, also detail-driven, they want to think about things. They really need to think about things, either because of... of the way they're wired and the amount of detail in the decision-making and things that they have to cross the T's and dot the I's, excuse me, or the other people that they want to consider in their decisions that they want to process this. So they can stay right there and process. That doesn't mean they have to leave. It just means they need a minute. So give them a minute to think about that. So any other, any other that, that you know.

That you over talk a solution when you present a solution. Anyone else want to weigh in on that one?

Okay, great. Then I'm going to go to the next one, even though I can't really move the, it's frozen. There we go.

So next one, stop talking when you've overcome the concern. So this is so, and speaking to sales associates, as well as sales managers and designers.

Concerns are part of the sales conversation. That's all they are. And this coaching conversation and the sales conversation are really, really, really similar conversations. They have very similar components. And so when you overcome, overcoming objections, handling objections are part of any and every sales process.

The better that we get at asking discovery questions, the fewer objections we're going to have. The better we get at presenting a solution that aligns with their problems and priorities, the fewer objections we're going to have, period. But it doesn't mean that they're going to go away. It means that you're just going to have fewer of them. But what we want to do is have fewer of them by anticipating and avoiding them and manage them better when they actually do come up. So we can do that. So consider that an objection is a voice concern.

It's waiting to be satisfied with information, and it's waiting to be satisfied with compassion and patience.

So after responding to their concern, first, by asking a question to find out what the objection and concern really is, and then by providing just enough information to address the concern. And I will underline and bold that, just enough.

Just enough. They don't need a PhD in furnitureology to understand the problem has been solved. They just need to know what they need to know. So this is a tough interaction because it's not our natural intuitive way to use silence to manage concerns. It's our way to try to make it go away and to try to talk it away. So just notice when that happens because it just instinctually, it's just going to happen.

What we want to do is by asking, by acknowledging what they're saying. So I understand that there's a concern about this. Can you tell me more about it? And then listen, take notes, just be quiet as we listen to what their actual concern is. So when we do respond to it, it's not an invitation to elaborate, but it's an invitation to just solve the problem. Just solve the problem.

Once you've overcome that concern, to be able to say, is there anything else? And if they say no, to go on to getting a commitment.

Even in a coaching conversation, to go on to getting a commitment that this is the process that we're going to go with. That's all we're looking for. So if they have another concern, they can voice it now. But if they don't have another concern, then they don't have another concern. So I would say that in here, the solutions of silence are, then notice your reactions when someone voices it, especially when it's a solution that you actually believe in. And we want to defend it, and we want it to go, and we want it to work. But rather, really take a breath, take a moment, and let the silence settle the space.

Settle the emotions. Settle the space. Settle the desire to be positional. Settle the desire to be right. Settle the desire to win. Because you're not going to win the sale when you can't handle the objection.

So when we then ask questions intended to understand the concern rather than making the point, we'll actually be able to move forward to the close. So I would love to hear from anyone on this one, because I think that this is truly the most challenging, yet the most interesting step in the sales process. And actually in coaching. So I'll talk to the sales manager coaches who may be coaching designers or salespeople and say, well, I don't think I really need to sketch. I think I'm finding out plenty of information when I blah, blah, blah. You know, when you want sketching to be at like 75% of the interactions, it's just an objection.

So anyone have that to offer that you notice that yourself over talking a solution when you get an objection.

Okay. Well, good. Well, congratulations on that. Because I think it's probably the most challenging step in the sales process because how we handle that possibility for confrontation and conflict has the opportunity to upset the connection that we've had by taking it somewhere it didn't need to go. But it doesn't have to go there either. So congratulations if you're doing a great job with this.

All right, the last one that we want to do is stop talking when you ask for a commitment.

So I think it's an archaic sales belief to think that in a selling interaction, when you ask for the sale, the first person who talks loses. That's like an old John Lawhon kind of way of thinking, because I don't really think it's true. I do think, however, that there's something philosophical about that. The first person who talks something. Because the first person who speaks after a closing question has been asked actually buys something. And if you're the seller, you're buying the conversation back. Because what tends to happen when we speak after asking for commitment, what tends to happen is we talk about like silly stuff, ridiculous things. We tend to bring something up that has no value or relevance to what we're discussing.

Because we're talking out of nervousness that this is the one place in the sales interaction where the silence is obvious, right? Where when you ask for, do you want to go ahead with this now? Or can we, the deposit for that would be this, how would you like to take care of that? Or whatever way we're asking a closing question, that what is required with a closing question is silence.

And that silence, it expands well beyond the seconds that it actually is happening. It feels like an eternity, but it isn't. And you're still breathing, so you'll be fine, right? So to just allow the silence and the vague discomfort that the other person is experiencing, because now they're being asked to respond.

But if you ask a question and then don't let someone respond, they're probably not going to answer another question. But the question is, in essence, would you like to go ahead with this? And there's nothing else to do but be quiet. Because they're going to say yes, no, or maybe. And then you do something with yes, no, or maybe.

But this is probably the most profoundly important place. Where silence matters the most is if you've asked for commitment, let them do whatever they need to do to process that and to respond to that because that's really what matters. So I expect that we'll have some examples here of I did and I didn't. I asked and then I spoke. I asked and then I took it away. So does anyone want to weigh in on this one?

No? So you get this one down. Okay. Well, good. Well, congratulations, again, if that has happened.

So I'm going to open this up to you, and that is, what questions does this topic prompt for you? What questions in thinking about silence, in thinking about how we construct conversations, in thinking about... Are we really leading and driving our interactions by the questions we ask and giving space and grace for the answers that we're looking for? Anyone? Whether it's questions, concerns, examples, anyone want to ask or offer anything in here? Okay.

So I will leave you with tick, hot, not, hot, not. As a final quote, that the more space that we make for stillness and silence, the more we have to give both to ourselves and to others, which is a lovely way to look at how we can actually bring silence into our interactions and have them be even more meaningful than we look to create them to be. So I want to thank you all for participating and being here today.

And to create an action plan from this, to look at some of these and areas that you know, you know, I'm pretty good in this one, but I think I can spend a little bit more time in either not talking about myself or talking as much when I present a solution or looking at how I construct and use silence and practice giving more room to silence in my communications, both professionally and personally.

Yeah. So thank you all for being here. I hope that you join the others that we have once a month. Thank you for being at this one. Those of you who wanted CEUs, I have a couple of you. I will load those up on the website today. So thank you for that.

And yeah, thank you for spending the afternoon together. So have a good one.

Thank you. Thanks so much. Thanks, Jodi.

Bookmarks

OCTOBER — STOP TALKING: The Power of Silence Silence is not absence.

Silence is presence — and it is one of the most underused tools in selling. You’ll discover: • Why silence increases trust • How it clarifies objections • How it elevates your professionalism • How it gives the customer space to think — and choose Silence creates confidence for both you and the customer.

THE MONTHLY Sales Skills SERIES Live Monthly Sales Training + Coaching with Jody Seivert Every 3rd Wednesday at 3 pm EST • Live on Zoom Strong selling is not accidental. It is intentional, practiced, coached, and measured. The Monthly Sales Mastery Series is a year-long professional development program for salespeople, designers, and sales managers who want to strengthen their skills, increase revenue, and create a more predictable path to success.

Each session includes:

• A focused 15–20 minute skill lesson • Real examples and demonstrations • Open Q&A and coaching with Jody based on real scenarios • Practical takeaways that can be implemented the same day Whether you are building your own sales practice or leading a team, this series keeps you sharp, proactive, and supported throughout the entire year. Who This Series Is For • Salespeople and designers who want stronger close rates and greater confidence • Sales managers who want a more consistent, skilled, and proactive team • Business owners seeking better margins, better process, and better outcomes • Anyone in the showroom world who wants to elevate their professionalism and results

Previous Lesson DISC for Customers: Identifying and Adapting

0 comments

There are no comments yet. Be the first one to leave a comment!

Please log in or register to post a comment

The Sales Skills SERIES

Course Content

Sales Skills

Stop Talking: The Power of Silence

0 comments

Leave a comment